BLUE CLEAR SKY: July 2007

was, as every concert worth attending should be, a moment to remember.

The first Sunday I was invited to church, they had scheduled an outdoor lunch. I had already met her best friend's husband ('best male friend' sounds awkward, dont'cha think?) at a Barnes and Noble so, by then, we knew there was a musical connection (thanks to a shared devotion to all things [Irish dad's real names, Dutch cover-photographers, Guatemalan jackets on Rattle and Hum, Swedish covers with ABBA] U2). So, my future-bride-then-girlfriend's-best-friend's-husband mentioned an upcoming concert at a church in Plano by this 21st century poet originally from an unknown (to me, at least) 90s band. Needless to say, I jumped with a "yes!"; after all, if he's a U2 fan (and a closet the Queen, aka Amy Grant fan, by his own admission) his musical taste must be good (although his repeated dislike of Slayer makes me doubt it a little).

Three days later we attended the concert. Inside a beautiful small sized church, I got my first glimpse into Derek Webb's music. Lyrics such as:

"Don't teach me about politics and government, just tell me who to vote for;

don't teach me about truth and beauty, just label my music;

don't teach me about how to live like a free man, just give me a new law"

were like a hook thrown into my wide open mouth. Then,

"There's two lies that I've heard:

the day you eat of the fruit of that tree you will not surely die,

and that Jesus was a white middle class Republican"

simply grabbed me by the gut and forced to listen, not enjoy and torture myself with the agony of knowing somebody was wording some sense out of my angry places of doubt. Nothing, however, would prepare me for what lied ahead; if the aforementioned songs seduced my mind, what followed sealed the deal... penetrating my soul like a spear into the heart:

[I] look for blessings in disguise,

to make me handsome, rich and wise, is that really what you want?

I am a whore I do confess,

I put you on just like a wedding dress and I, run down the aisle;

I'm a prodigal with no way home,

I put you on just like a ring of gold and I run down the aisle to you".

I cried when I listened to those lyrics; I still cry everytime I hear the whole song; I will cry so hard, I have not been able to listen to any other song on that album, I just repeat it a handful times until my voice is no longer singing but begging forgiveness to my God. That song, prompted me to share my deepest fears and pour confessions of an angry/ sad/ confused heart with my beautiful date for that evening. We had just begun dating and I liked her so much, that I needed her to know the real whore inside of me. Her response? "You are not [that], you are a good man". Ever since, we've been committed to verbally sharing whatever troubles our hearts both individually and as a couple and I've grown to trust her friendship more than I've ever trusted my fears. I guess Derek Webb's Wedding Dress definitely played a slightly literal part in the fact that Carlee is, in fact, now shopping for a wedding dress.
Before I forget (as if!), our drive to church was spent listening three times in a row to a 80s song by an obscure band from the 70s. The lyrics were a perfect match. The first time I told her "I love you" was while listening to that little ditty: Amanda by Boston.

Here, a pic right after