Our First Baby...

I'll save myself a thousand words...

Picture courtesy of Leslie Linebarger

#8: Our first test...

When taking a test, I usually know before hand what results I can expect. If I study and know the information well, I will probably be pleased. And if I don't, well you know.

This time it was different. I took the test and waited.... I began to notice something forming in the space where I was supposed to be watching for the result. Was it a line? Hmmm... I turned around and closed my eyes. This was no time to allow my mind and eyes to play tricks on me. I waited for the timer to go off - the full three minutes. There was no room in my heart for error, especially if the line were to appear, changing my life forever. The timer beeped, I turned around and it was there. This beautiful light pink line. My breath caught in my throat and my eyes filled with tears. I heard the door, someone was coming in and I couldn't say a thing. I would wait patiently until I had the chance to talk to my sweet husband. My heart beat even faster at the thought of telling him. Everything in me was anticipating his response in the moment that I would tell him that he is a father and that our precious baby was growing inside of me. So I carefully folded the test in a paper towel and put it in my purse. I took it out about every 15 minutes or so (when no one was looking) and new tears would come. I had to wait more than six hours before I had the opportunity to tell my love. He stopped whatever it was that he was doing and came to me. Those tears had found their way to his eyes as well. And on his face was a smile that I will never forget. It looked similar to the one he wore on our wedding day, but it was different, maybe heavier (if that is possible). He held me and we talked to our Father.

That was the day and our little story. That was just before Thanksgiving. I am a little over eight weeks pregnant now. It almost feels like it should be more since we found out so early (approximately nine days after conception). I feel nauseous every day for most of the day now but have only spent one day vomiting. Each day brings something new and we are learning and hopefully growing. God is so good. This year I have been given so many gifts.

#6: Our first wedding picture.

Ok, so this is just the beginning....
as a matter of fact, we were not even married when this picture was taken... or were we? I don't know.... and probably I don't care. What matters to me is that we were there... we are still here, and forever will be. And while it seems like forever for the rest of the 530 pictures and video from that day to arrive, we are posting one of the only five pics from that day I've seen.

Post #3: our first concert / Wedding Dress

was, as every concert worth attending should be, a moment to remember.

The first Sunday I was invited to church, they had scheduled an outdoor lunch. I had already met her best friend's husband ('best male friend' sounds awkward, dont'cha think?) at a Barnes and Noble so, by then, we knew there was a musical connection (thanks to a shared devotion to all things [Irish dad's real names, Dutch cover-photographers, Guatemalan jackets on Rattle and Hum, Swedish covers with ABBA] U2). So, my future-bride-then-girlfriend's-best-friend's-husband mentioned an upcoming concert at a church in Plano by this 21st century poet originally from an unknown (to me, at least) 90s band. Needless to say, I jumped with a "yes!"; after all, if he's a U2 fan (and a closet the Queen, aka Amy Grant fan, by his own admission) his musical taste must be good (although his repeated dislike of Slayer makes me doubt it a little).

Three days later we attended the concert. Inside a beautiful small sized church, I got my first glimpse into Derek Webb's music. Lyrics such as:

"Don't teach me about politics and government, just tell me who to vote for;

don't teach me about truth and beauty, just label my music;

don't teach me about how to live like a free man, just give me a new law"

were like a hook thrown into my wide open mouth. Then,

"There's two lies that I've heard:

the day you eat of the fruit of that tree you will not surely die,

and that Jesus was a white middle class Republican"

simply grabbed me by the gut and forced to listen, not enjoy and torture myself with the agony of knowing somebody was wording some sense out of my angry places of doubt. Nothing, however, would prepare me for what lied ahead; if the aforementioned songs seduced my mind, what followed sealed the deal... penetrating my soul like a spear into the heart:

[I] look for blessings in disguise,

to make me handsome, rich and wise, is that really what you want?

I am a whore I do confess,

I put you on just like a wedding dress and I, run down the aisle;

I'm a prodigal with no way home,

I put you on just like a ring of gold and I run down the aisle to you".

I cried when I listened to those lyrics; I still cry everytime I hear the whole song; I will cry so hard, I have not been able to listen to any other song on that album, I just repeat it a handful times until my voice is no longer singing but begging forgiveness to my God. That song, prompted me to share my deepest fears and pour confessions of an angry/ sad/ confused heart with my beautiful date for that evening. We had just begun dating and I liked her so much, that I needed her to know the real whore inside of me. Her response? "You are not [that], you are a good man". Ever since, we've been committed to verbally sharing whatever troubles our hearts both individually and as a couple and I've grown to trust her friendship more than I've ever trusted my fears. I guess Derek Webb's Wedding Dress definitely played a slightly literal part in the fact that Carlee is, in fact, now shopping for a wedding dress.
Before I forget (as if!), our drive to church was spent listening three times in a row to a 80s song by an obscure band from the 70s. The lyrics were a perfect match. The first time I told her "I love you" was while listening to that little ditty: Amanda by Boston.

Here, a pic right after

Derek Webb's concert.

Post #2: our first picture

But wait! Where's post #1 ! ??? No, we're not glad you asked.

So let's move on to post #2, and maybe, one day, in the future, we'll come back to that mysterious post #1 (hint: it was not a picture, neither a written post). For now we want to share with all of you our first picture. Taken one morning at church while, unbeknownst to us, our first kiss waited a few hours ahead. But we'll leave that for post #3.. or later.


Picture by FiercePeace, at SBC, July 8, 2007.